really freaky dream

All I remember is that we ( my mom, my cousin Dimitri, his mom(?) I think, and some other people) are walking. We have to get to this place. At one point Dimitri’s mother (but it wasn’t his mother, it was a much older woman) somehow was in this well. My mom leans over to help. The next scene is that we’re approaching my grand parent’s (who are dead in real life) house when I’m wondering where is my mom. They tell me that she fell into the hole. I felt sick as I tried to wrap my head around this idea. We (Dimitri and I) end up at my grand parent’s house when we hear them coming. My grand father, Edmond, meets us and embraces Dimitri first. He always liked him best. I notice as I hug him that Edmond is much taller and more built than he was in life. He looks good, happy and full of life. My grand mother, Merita, is behind him. She looks great too. In life, when she died, her mind was completely gone and was hunched over like Casimodo. Here, she was walking straight and her mind was clear. She was remembering and identifying stuff as if to show us how well she was. They said that it was due to some new medication she was taking. As we’re about to sit at a table, I realize that I have to ‘help’ my mom. I can’t just sit there. I must call the police or better yet the firemen. They need to go down that well, that very deep well, to recover her body. I don’t even know if she’s dead. Oh god, what if she’s not dead. I’m ill just thinking about what she must have felt when she fell. I start panicking. I share this with the others and I say that either way there needs to be a resolution. What do I do with her home and legal life. There needs to be an official document or something. At this point Merita agrees with what happened. “yes, she fell into the book”. What? No, she fell into the hole. I’m thinking Merita is loosing her head again but she insist that she fell into the book, just like Alice in Wonderland.

So, it’s 3:29am and I’m awake. I had to write this vivid and weird dream.

I know that Merita is my great sub conscious and Edmond is my super conscious; that my mom is my sub conscious and that death means change. I’m not sure about the long black hole of a well. I guess part of me died in that hole…

Mapping what I want.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. Actually I’ve already wrote out the list.

Here are the categories of my life list, hehehe,  Home, Mate, Career, Health. All I need now is to get some photos. I’m thinking about making a poster out of it. I’m so unfocused that if I don’t do that, I’d probably float until I die. My cousin calls me ‘the jellyfish’…

Under home I have the following:

  • highrise loft
  • bright
  • ocean or lake view
  • art studio
  • zen

Under Mate:

  • hippie style
  • healthy
  • soft
  • playful
  • cheerful
  • loving
  • centered
  • stable
  • beautiful


  • art
  • college/university teacher
  • $4000 per month
  • east or west coast and maybe chicago
  • urban
  • fun


  • yoga
  • T.M.
  • balanced
  • light workout
  • sex

Any thoughts? Anyone?


I had a nice dream last night.

I was at this big fancy party with rich guests. There was a big pool in the middle of the area and the guests where mingling when my (live) mom arrived with my (death) step father. They walked up to the hot tub. I looked down at the tub and I thought it looked like a giant washing machine. My parents went in. My mom rested on Alain and he held her and kisses her neck with so much love that I felt it. I was looking down at them and as I felt the love emanating from them, I thought: “Every child should see and feel this from their parents, this way they would know what to look for in life.”.

Cool landings

So the real estate guy is showing me the apartment. The master bed and bath are HUGE. It’s a good start, but there’s a older white dude in the bath and he had his clothes on. We move on to the other bedrooms. The hall way to the next room is so narrow that you’d have to move sideways just to pass through. The worst part it that the bath room was taking most of the space…weird.

Anyway we move on to the balcony. A real nice balcony but there are a couple of openings on the floor like trap doors. The agent tells me that I’d have to leave that space accessible to the bar downstairs because that’s their only access to their stock room. I’m thinking hell no! This isn’t going to work at all…although the balcony is soooo cool.

We move back to the master bedroom and the old dude sits up from the bath, did I mention that he had his shirt on? Anyway, we notice a red spot on his shirt further more he has a bottle of red wine in the bath but he’s drinking it underwater….weird.

Then the airplane is coming for a landing on the beach. I tell my friend: “you’ve got to see what this guy does! It’s soooo cool.” The plane comes around a couple of times and lands right in the water, about 15 feet from the white sand beach. All the sunbathers clap while the captain comes out with a couple of topless girls in each arm holding margaritas. I yell: “Margarita” in my party voice but no one notices and I feel a little embarrassed.

We’re moving right along to what I think is the immigration custom’s line? There is a couple in front of me, they are my friends I think, and a cute girl behind me. We’re all together. I look back at her and she didn’t seem to like me, which is odd (he he) but then I extend my arms around her waist and she immediately returns the favor. She ends up against the wall with me pressing my hips against hers. I’m liking this. Then my friend, in front of me, turns me around to make sure I had a hard on. I mean, it’s as though, if I didn’t, I would get in trouble or something. They let out a smile after seeing my bulging pants…weird.

That’s when I realized I was dreaming.

Beautiful dream

I go to Alain’s house [Caprice]. It looks like a bungaloo. I walk in and hang around for a while. We’re supposed to go out somewhere, I’m waiting for him to get ready. I walk down the hall where I hear some noise. I go to the window and I look down at this amazing beauty. I’m up 6 storys and right on the shore. I can see the big blue ocean immediately under me and there are HUGE fish just swiming and having fun. When I say HUGE I mean HUGE. I though they were whale but they weren’t mammals. One of them did one quick move of the tail and was miles away. I was in awe in front of this beauty and strength. They almost looked like needle fish but giants.

I tried to look at the mouth of one of them and it looked like a prehistoric fish. I then looked down and I see that it’s a hotel. There are people on the floor below looking down as well. I say “isn’t this beautiful?”. They agree. It was David Wechsler. I walk back and look around at the different rooms in the place. You can tell it was done by a very creative person.

The hotel doesn’ have a beach per say and it’s located somewhere hidden where no one would want to be. There are many rooms in the place. I walk back and Alain is getting dressed. I walk outside because I wanted to take a closer look at the pool. It was huge but there was something odd. In the deeper end of it there was, underwater, a jacuzzi. I just didnn’t understand what a jacuzzi was doing under water. Alain tells my that the owner is a gay man and I say “of course, only a gay man could have so much taste”.

I walk to the shore, there are people swimming and I see so many fish, it was amazing and they were all coming so close to the shore. I had nothing to feed them with so I go back to the place to get some bread or something. N’djamena and her friend [dont’ know] were at the place. On the table I find, bread, cake and boxes and boxes of yellow crystals like they were grown right out of the box. They were all aligned like a tray of wheatgrass, you know?

Another dream

Alain [Fiston] is driving the car. Dominique, Kian and I are in it. We get to a point where there will be traffic. I don’t know this place. It’s completely foreign to me. We take a detour on the left. Kian and I get out to find out, on foot, if there is another way. We get to this peer like building and we walk and walk until we reach somekind of corner.
I can see the water. We’re six story’s up. I hear a gun shot. There is chaos. I grab Kian and get closer to the window. I see the ocean’s surface and I think that if trouble comes into the room, we jump. I can see across to the other window. I see two white men, older. One of them is holding his left shoulder. He’s bleeding from the gun shot. I can see the bleeding hole. He’s holding the gun thought. He looks down and throws the gun into the ocean.

Weird dream with flower hands

I saw n’djamena. She was with her new beau.
He looked just like Alain
when he was young.
I went up to them.
It was a group.
I go to kiss her hello. She leans back and gives me her hand. I go to shake it in confusion. They all make weird sounds like making fun of me. Then her beau and her make me place my hand [right hand] palm up, fingers closed, pointing at the sky.
Then they make this weird sound like a river or the wind, some kind of hissing sound.
As they all look at my hand, they make me understand that I should start opening my fingers slowly.
When they’re open, half way open, with a movement that looks like birds drinking out of a lake,
they use their hands with pointed fingers and dip them into my hand like they’re drinking out of it.
Everyone was making a gulp, gulp, gulp sound, and it seemed like they were telling me that this is the new way to say hello, you know…new hand shake?
The end.

Thugs in Suits

Sooooo I’m walking through a parking lot and I’m stopped by these thugs in suits. They wanted the wallet that I had just found, it was fat with cash. Before I could think, my partner jumped in front of me which allowed me to crawl underneath the brown car to my right. As I’m on the ground I open the wallet and stuff the many wads of $100 bills in my pocket. It wasn’t an easy task but I managed just fine :). I was then on the 3rd floor of our appartment that I couldn’t recognize, you had just finished cleaning and rearanged my room. You left a package on the 3rd to last step of the stairs leading to the kitchen where 2 other people were waiting for me to go out. Before we left I drank half a bottle of brandy. It went down like lemonade and I thought that if the cops pulled me over I’d go staight to jail. A moment later, we were on the side sidewalk in town, it was rainning and grey. We took off our clothes and had sex. No one was around. It would have been a good show.

So I had this dream…

I was with my ex-girl friend cute young sister and we were about to have sex when her boyfriend knocked on the door and came in. He found us naked on the floor spooning. He then mumbled something as he closed the door and left. I could see him through my closed eyes.
Then J* got up and gave me this huge blue condom, I grabbed it and started laughing because this girl had way over estimated my penis size and as I’m about to convey to her this practical information I see her shoving her arm inside another blue giant condom. She was lubricating this inside of the condom with some kind of oil.
-What are you doing? I asked.
She looked at me with a surprised look and explained that it was for the betterment of sex.
I had to tell her that on the contrary, the inside of the condom should stay dry otherwise the sensation is weird because the penis ends up moving inside it and not creating any friction in the vagina…well you had to be there.
Anyway at this point the Austin the cat jumped on my chest because that’s when I woke up.